A Realistic Perspective On The Relationship Between a Parent and the Child

 Here's more nonsense this time. However, I added a little dramatic experience from my life. Well, before you complain about how much more unfortunate other children in this world are, or however similar and common my experiences are, why don't you take a look at it in a different perspective? For example, "why is such an experience so "common" among all the people in the world?". If you can't answer that, then you're just going to inherit this stuff and pass it on to your children, just like our idiotic parents. Not like they are true idiots, but when it comes to parenting, they can't be that intelligent if we have something left to complain about :) Hee hee hee hee. If you have anything to say then please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.



      Earlier I had an argument with an individual. She used to be an important part of my life. However, over these years, she's becoming more and more of a stranger that I know very well. Yea, technically that's how I feel or maybe how most of us feels. She's my relative. Sometimes I can even consider her a great inspiration (to decide to help the world) because of my hatred towards her. Sometimes she's a friend.... but most often, I've lost most of my emotional connections to her.
At least I used to think I hate her. However, I decided that to have revenge on someone, hating that individual is making that person too lucky to deserve a part of your memories (and it's true). I've decided to release her from hatred and forgive her. In the end, I learned that one positive and one negative does neutralize each other. In the end, I feel nothing for her except for one thing; responsibility. If you're wondering if she's my ex wife from Satan's realm, then you are wrong. She is my mother.
I learned hating people requires vast amounts of strength, and you will have to reinforce it everyday because it gets diluted by other parts of your life. However, if you become like me, stop hating someone, simultaneously will also lead you to stop loving that someone. Love and hate goes together as a balance which constantly reminds each other the force they are fighting against. Don't get me wrong. I do care for her, but only if she's about to be in imminent danger, in other words; just like every other stranger I can imagine.
       You have heard about many terrible parents, and how gurus teach you never to hate your parents. Learn to love them and such. I agree. But for me, I love without any feelings. I just follow protocols to decide what is in her best interest without over dramatizing with common "super care". If you want an example, I can give you one. If your mom is sick, what would you do for her? Buy her a card? Talk to her a lot? Cheer her up by cleaning up for her? For me, the emotionless me, the best alternative for me is to force her to carry her own weight, judge her own situations, and solve her own problems. The only time I'll lend a hand is if I noticed that she's tried her best, and it'll be nonsense not to stretch out your hand and give her a boost; like if she can't even breath correctly or move her limbs and such.
        Terrible parents can be alcohol addicts, drug addicts, sex addicts, or whatever you can think of. For me, my parents are nothing like that at all, but I won't and can't judge others for what they do, because everybody follows their aims based on their strongest selfish motivation. However, if you stated  that a "non addict" can be a great parent, then reply would be "half-half". The child will have to be lucky. Parents are usually not ready to have children. Nobody ever trained, or prepared for every little situation that will inevitably occur, but rather couples decided to follow their feelings and just go with the flow. In other words, people take a new life too naively. It's more than just stuffing food into a toddler and forcing its flesh to grow. It's more than just pushing them into danger in order to let them realize survival techniques. It's more than just taking money from the government and giving a small share to them. If you ever watch movies where children are trained to be assassins, you would've realized one thing that most parents don't realize; even though children growing up to be assassins (or soldiers, etc. ) are pitiful, but normal children can also be just as pitiful or even more. For those children in training, plans have been carefully decided long ahead of time to protect them from real dangers, whether that is physical or emotional danger. Most parents focus on physical dangers, but definitely almost all parents completely neglect emotional dangers.
      Developing an emotionally healthy child is more than just patience and iron fist force. It's not all about delivering pain to them then counseling them afterwards, or forcing them to see a psychiatrist if once they have emotional issues. Why not solve the problem now and on your own? This pattern of negativity occurs because parents usually have been emotionally abused themselves, which became a permanent comfort pocket gives the same negative protocols that deals with the next generation the same way they were taught unconsciously. It's all about balance. Balance is important, but most people don't realize how important it is because we all have a false sense of stability. Time runs, gravity pulls, volcano explodes, no part of our world is stable in nature. This holds even more true, or should I say more obvious in a living being's emotions. Its changes are obvious though it's not dramatic and big as mother earth. However, we have a natural tendency to ignore anything irrational beyond the level of our intelligence. Fortunately, we all get old. Eventually old people realize their mistakes and ignorance, but all is already too late, because they have already stained the next generation with their negativity, which will further spread like an epidemic for generations on. Even though emotional civil war within the family could've been prevented, and was definitely unnecessary, but this spiral of nonsense simply continues nowadays.
      Balancing someone's feelings for you and your feelings towards them is the best way to show care. It's not always about speaking loving, and encouraging words, or delivering hateful and aggressive abuses.  Sometimes, you have to encourage, but other times you have to be tough, but other times, you just have to learn to take the blow from the target you are aiming to help, by intelligently sorting out the facts. To help someone learn and grow, the helper has to learn to grow as well. It's a reinforcing cycle that both have to maintain in a dynamically violent, even gentle, sad, yet exciting relationship that constantly has opposite, and neutral emotions causing friction with each other. Sometimes, it also means to show strength, but weakness as well.
      To conclude all of this. I wrote this article to release my stressed out feelings. Take it as you want it, it's not meant to be your advice or rulebook, it's meant to be your inspiration. I'm being serious too. Just read it like a story book, and realize that you are not alone in this world. I'm not your friend, but I'm definitely not a stranger.

How to Get Your Appetite Back- Fight Against Anorexia

     Here's some nonsense about regaining your appetite. It's nonsense so you have the right not to believe me. If you have anything to say then please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.




    Anorexia is a pretty serious problem. Unless you mastered kundalini or any form of meditation training; then I highly doubt you can live without eating. If your problem with eating started just when your mother gave birth to you, then that will be a different issue, but I'm assuming that you are one of those people who's not eating for a "reason". The following will address everything related to that.

   Do we hate eating? Not really. It's very rare to actually have hatred for food. I say rare because I've never seen anyone who has a natural tendency to hate eating. I'm not talking about eating anything specifically like meat or dairy because having dislike towards a specific group of food only can consist of other factors (such as allergic reactions or vegetarianism). Such dislikes are besides the "reason" that we're going to discuss. We'll be talking about hating to eat anything in general and the related cases.

   If you're reading this then you most likely know someone that has eating issues, or are having those issues yourself. Anorexia is technically not a problem of the mind, but the problem of the emotions. This means that the problem cannot be solved with just trying to persuade yourself by thinking that "eating is necessary". Anorexia is not a problem that involves our logical thoughts or reasoning, it's a feeling that's very deep inside of you that can't be deliberately changed.  To understand how to relieve yourself from anorexia, you would have to understand your emotions and reflect upon its origins to unwind this feeling.

To understand the origins of our emotions, we have to discuss about comfort pocket. "Comfort pocket" is a term I have invented for defining the real you subconsciously, the you that acts on according to your daily activities and habits. Comfort pocket is not something we are born with. A baby is not born to know how to read or speak. Comfort pockets are what we create in daily life to go through our experiences with ease and less effort. It gives us the most comfort for doing what we do without having to think twice. When you think back to the past events during the day (try it now) your events will be quite blurry and hard to recall. The reason for this is because your body and mind is acting on subconscious, in other words, your comfort pocket. The things we do was done so often everyday that we created a gap in our memories! Your body is acting according to what you usually do the same as always so that you think as little as possible and spend as little energy as possible. The events throughout the day are not lost nor non existed just cause your body was acting upon comfort pocket. Those memories are still within you, in the back of your mind and able to recall if you think hard, and deep enough. Now that we know on a basic level of what comfort pocket is, let's discuss the comfort pocket of eating.

    To eat on a daily basis is based partially on instincts and partially on habit. Nobody ever said you have to eat three times a day, specifically breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Nobody ever said you have to eat everyday. In fact, you can play around with your liver's glycogen storage by skipping a day of food from time to time, and eating every other day. So instead of eating on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday....till Sunday, you can surely choose to eat on just Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday! So why do most of us eat three meals a day? It's simply a pleasurable habit. It's very simple how all of us dislikes the discomfort of an empty stomach. Except for those of you who have that "reason" that brought you here to read my writing. Busy people have busy days. To complete all events, they usually skip meals cause they have no time for that kind of pleasure. When done so daily that it becomes a habit, then skipping meals eventually turns to a comfort pocket. It becomes so effortless and easy that the person doesn't even think twice about skipping meals cause it's always done this way. However, those extremes only happen when you develop a comfort pocket that overlaps your comfort pocket for eating and takes over. That sounds decently confusing. To summarize, we have a comfort pocket for eating but there are also those who have an excuse for not eating (and does it so daily) and let a newly formed comfort pocket take over. Let me state honestly, that this is the "reason" for anorexia.

   Clearly what I'm getting at is that people develop anorexia based on a brand new comfort pocket. Not that all people can complete a comfort pocket of not eating, but if they do, they can develop anorexia. Comfort pocket holds beliefs, experiences, habits, techniques, and whole loads of other stuff, so it's technically a brain you can't control, or an addiction you can't get rid of ---unless, that is you overwhelm it with an even stronger comfort pocket. I listed "belief" as one of the element of comfort pocket, so once the comfort pocket is established, it can no longer be ridden off unless you cover it up. I have stated in previous articles, destroying a comfort pocket is unnecessary and dangerous.  The daily activities that we're so used to is our comfort pocket, destroying a comfort pocket is destroying a common habit. So it is absurd to destroy your comfort pocket forcefully, or else you are very likely to turn insane. Have you ever had a very strong belief for something? This belief is so strong that you can argue with anyone that tries to persuade you against your belief. That's a kind of comfort pocket. People with anorexia developed a belief, one so strong that if they tried to eat forcefully, they are likely to do more torture to themselves (like committing suicide) than they already were. The more high quality (and more developed) their comfort world is built, the more dangerous it'll be if that comfort pocket is destroyed. To sum it up, the solution to handling a comfort pocket for anorexia, will be developing a belief that is even more reasonable than "not eating".

    People with anorexia don't really hate eating. Their comfort pocket will remind them from time to time to eat, but the "belief" for not eating is so strong, it forces back their original comfort pocket for "eating to survive". If you studied biology, then you'll probably realize it's almost like a cell trying to self destruct due to genetic mutation. Comfort pocket has many doors, or elements to it that can be approached from the outside. For example, if the target can simply develop a habit that constitute an element of eating every day that's "impossible" to throw up, then that might work. Or you can develop a game where you challenge the target to keep the swallowed food in their stomach for a certain amount of time without throwing up, and allowing them to throw up after certain amounts of time. As days pass by, the target will develop a technique to fight against their current comfort pocket of disgust for food, and hold in the food longer without throwing up.  Even suggesting such technique can give the person a more high- spirited look-out to what they have to surpass. If they master this or whatever good technique you can think of, then as days pass by, they won't have chance to throw up anymore, because the food is digested by the time they feel like throwing up. These are just examples. Look at my writing about comfort pocket abridged, or the long version to figure out what element of comfort pocket you can work at to handle your, or your friend's problem. Comfort pocket have arms that can link to possibilities so you will have to find opportunities that can be approached to these links for you to reach the core of the problem

   Anorexia is not a comfort pocket that came alone. In fact, it must have a source that triggered it. For example, let's say a weight lifter has anorexia. The original source of his problem could be because someone commented that his body has too much fat that can not be lost in time for a "contest" for example. Figuring out the source of the problem should be your main priority, and try to find links to the core of the problem. Sometimes, knowing the source of the problem doesn't necessarily solve the problem, because the target might no longer be concerned about the source of the problem, for example, someone made fun of the target, but rather the target might feel "obligation" or "appropriateness" to stay depressed as a habit that is developed into a subtle comfort pocket much earlier in their lifetime.

   To sum it up, finding the source of the problem or using one method to change the mind of the target is not enough. You must search deeper into target's past to find out why certain beliefs are so stubbornly kept.