How to Have Confidence - Selfish Motivation Vs Comfort Pocket

    I am not a very confident person myself while I write this. However, my writings are not written by me, but the spirit living dormant inside of me. So while I write this, I am looking for answers as well. Well, this sounds like nonsense after all. Maybe it is =).


    Confidence is a word of power and direction. For my whole life, I've been searching for ways to obtain it, without hurting others. However, when I see a confident person pass by, I can interpret what it means to be confident. Let me share my insight with you.
    When I first saw that specific confident person X, he actually gave me the impression that he was very afraid of doing anything at all. He stutters, bites his lips, and fidgets nonstop. He always looks around and gets very nervous when others look at him. When he talks to others he has to constantly double check to see if he is saying the right thing. That was obvious because all I hear coming out of his mouth are superficial open ended responses. So why is he considered confident of our discussions? I'll tell you very soon.
    I've known person X back in junior high school. He is a very quiet person that doesn't attract any attention at all. At least that's true until I saw the class presentation he did. It was an english class presentation. Students are required to walk up to the front, where the teachers usually stand and deliver a speech. That day, he walked up to the front with his head down and his shoulders slumped. He was clearly nervous. When he turned around with the project in his hands, he transformed in front of all of us. His eyes changed as if it can see through us to infinity. His back was straight. He looked us in the eyes, and gave a happy smile that we have never seen before. When he spoke, it was loud and clear, and he didn't sound anything like a teenage boy. He sounded like a presidential candidate delivering a speech. As he was delivering his speech, I can tell that he was still nervous, but he was able to scan the room with his eyes evenly. He didn't see us during his speech delivery, but he saw past us. His eyes tells me that he is very focused on one motive. That motive is to deliver fun to the room, even at his expense. He was courageous at the moment. Even the boys I know who are supposedly confident in their grades and athletics can't show this kind of confidence that can pierce through my soul. When he returned to his seat, he became the old him again. However, whenever he makes speeches, I can see that powerful soul of his once more.
    After thinking back to this old memory, I suddenly realize what it means to be confident. You can be afraid, and your reputation or whatever might be at risk. However, focus exactly on what you are delivering, while believing that its doing good. Even if it's at your expense, carry it out, then you are confident. For example, lets say that you have to ask for a really unreasonable favor from a friend or colleague. You want to feel confident. To believe this feeling, think about how it can actually benefit  your friend and yourself when you ask for the favor. Focus on that and ignore all the other forces around you. If you feel that you will sacrifice something when you do this, then just keep that in mind and allow it to happen. Your mental direction should be forward, not backwards. This way, you are solid in what you are doing and you won't give up.
    When you follow this kind of pattern, you are simply using your selfish motivation to overcome your old comfort pockets. Your selfish motivation tells you that what you are doing is actually very important. Your old comfort pocket keeps telling you all the "side effects" that can happen. Use your selfish motivation and surpass yourself, your old self that is, and make a brand new you.