Nonsense are not meant to be negative and I'll do my best to maintain neutrality in this topic. Don't worry, this is all nonsense so nobody was really hurt =P. If you have anything to say, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.
"It's been a long time". Recently, I hear myself saying that a lot. It's a way I try to feel nostalgic about my historical time line by letting old memories flash through my head multiple times. That's cool, because I think that cherishing our timeline, no matter what happened is important since it made us who we are, in other words- our comfort pockets. However, no matter where I go, who I meet, same patterns repeat themselves over and over again. Now, why is that?
In case my audience forgot let me remind you that I'm a guy, and I am straight. What does that mean? It means I like women. I happen to have dated many women in the past, and no it doesn't mean that I have resourceful dating wisdom, because it simply doesn't reach that conclusion. The reason is because all of those experiences were painful to recall. After so many years of these experiences, I have finally concluded that I have issues, or maybe I just happen to run into plenty of incompatible women through some weird twist of fate. I can even show you a formula of what always happens whenever I date. It goes something like this:
1. I meet a woman I like and we talk
2. She thinks I am funny (I'm guessing. Let's just assume I can read her mind for this piece of writing's sake)
3. We date a few times
4. She was happy, cool, and funny at first
5. Then she talks less, acts cold, sneezes more (okay maybe they don't all sneeze more)
6. I feel disappointed and I ignore them as a reaction to their behaviors
7. We never talk again and I search for someone else that might be more compatible
Clearly, it's not any of the women's fault because this pattern repeats ALL the time. Well, sometimes I will ask them why they suddenly become cold. They give me some reasons like I don't pursue them enough, buy gifts, prove myself through their test. Those answers are obviously a part of their comfort pockets created by their experiences, and beliefs so I don't even bother asking them anymore for answers. Most often I don't understand myself very well, so I don't expect anybody else to be able to. If I continue to pursue them for an answer, then it's analogical to asking an uneducated janitor about the history of mops and brooms. Both of us won't reach a satisfying conclusion.
This doesn't only happen in my daily life. It happens in my social circles, family, and even my closest friends. For the sake of this piece of writing, I'll call myself the "victim" in all those situations. Yes, you can conclude that people who behaves that way towards me probably had a reason, or they are uncomfortable with me. Yes, I completely agree with you, but that's outside the scope of this piece of writing. We are only going to focus on the reasons I keep stimulating this pattern from the environment around me. Without other components, there's only one conclusion we can make here, and that would be selfish motivation.
As I mentioned in my previous articles, selfish motivation is the only form of motivation we all have that allows us to do great things. When you reach the ultimate form of your selfish motivation, you will also reach true altruism. The reason is because you are so satisfied with the way you live that you will find it too difficult not to share with others since everything is an excess to you. If you want to read about it then go ahead here to get a feel of what it is. So how does selfish motivation relate with my problem? Is it a problem with my selfish motivation or the women I chased after?
The problem is from both of us. The women that I met had their selfish motivation triggered by the selfish motivation of my own. It's undeniable that everybody wants recognition and appreciation for their own existence. Nobody is an exception. People I meet see the potential in the new connection that I can form with them (potential can go in all directions, including doing harm). Meeting somebody for the first time always creates, for both of us a subconscious expectation that there's some "potential" for further development due to this meeting/ relationship (does not have to be sexual). This is enough to trigger a selfish motivation in someone. For example, my selfish motivation for meeting a girl can be for her to be my girlfriend. She would agree to this development if she agrees to my intentions. If she has no selfish motivation for that to happen, then she'll simply disagree, and the relationship is ruined. That's the reason why girls turn cold after they've been nice to you for a while. They enjoy your company in the beginning but realized that they wanted to stay in the "friend zone". Since your selfish motivation conflicts with her's, the relationship becomes detached. This is the ultimate reason why the problem is from both of us, yet it's not at the same time. Neither one of us is at fault. If things turns out this way, it simply wasn't meant to be. Her selfish motivation simply didn't find the possibility of developing a deeper relationship between us, and that's fine.
This is the key reason why people blood-related to you or those in "close" relationship with you might repeat a pattern of negative feedback. You both don't have a mutual motivation for keeping up a good relationship. For example, some parents (not all) will find their children useless and unimportant to their existence.They have clearly little to no motivation to raising their children. They could feel that having children is many more times an expense than a profit. Some parents I know look at their child like a stack of bills or wrinkle cream (that causes wrinkle). In these scenarios, parents will look at their child as a mistake or "the condom broken at the wrong moment" or some other negative analogy. These children are often abandoned or heavily neglected in different ways. However, there are parents that appreciate their own children and treasure their existence more than their own lives. In their case, motivation for raising their children is their love for them. For there to be no patterns of negative feed backs in relationship, people have to find reasons and motivations for being together positively.
If society's standard of selfish motivation have reached its ultimate
state, then we will all live in true state of peace and harmony, because
we will all not hesitate to help each other out. Why? It's because people are so satisfied emotionally, mentally, and
passionately that everything becomes an excess to them. They are so content that these things don't matter to them anymore. It is the most fair, advanced, and powerful form of trade between
everybody.
Meeting someone is only a shallow form of connection that anybody can form. Just saying "hi" to someone can already trigger this. Your selfish motivation for forming such a temporary connection might be for the sake of asking for time, to feel good afterwards, or to make a friend. If you say "I said hi cause I felt like it", then that's still a selfish motivation because you're doing something for a return of a satisfying feeling. Connections are necessary with people you meet or else the relationship will not work, because there's no comfort pocket formed. In that case there will be no reason for the two different individuals to stay together beyond some form of formality like "boyfriend" or " father". In this case, the relationship is more of an obligation instead of a selfish motivation. If this happens to you then you will always feel a certain distance with people "close" to you.
To conclude this piece of writing. We all have selfish motivations to pursue a more powerful form of connection that helps us appreciate our very form of existence in this world. This also applies to people we try to connect with. If your comfort pocket don't include any form of technique that can be used to comprehend other people's selfish motivation, then your existence will always be outside other people's needs. People who don't have the reason to stay with you will not be with you. It's always important to polish your feelings, personality, and emotions, be the best of who you are with the potential given to you by the heavens. Use this to form the best selfish motivation inside your comfort pocket.
No comments:
Post a Comment