I was in junior high school presenting a Spanish project. The project requires you to sing a Spanish song in front of the whole class, and you have to explain the meaning of the song. This is a group project and nobody wanted me in their group. The teacher noticed that and forced one of the students to be my partner. At that time, my partner yelled at me and said, "Listen, if you mess up this project then it's all your fault. You will have to do everything by yourself. I would do absolutely nothing". When he said that, I didn't feel any anger or hatred, but rather very embarrassed, afraid, and selfishly motivated. I was around 12 to 13 years old at that time, and the internet wasn't really that great yet. To make it worst, I was known around the school for being the stupidest kid they have ever known. That project was the first accomplishment in my life in which I feel I can do anything on my own without any help at all. For that Spanish project, my partner literally did nothing. I didn't mind, because I know he was right. I'm useless. I decided to do everything on my own even if I know nothing. I remember that project was the first selfish motivation I developed that allowed me to develop my internet surfing skills, public speech skills, independence skills, and critical thinking skills. I was very proud of myself for many years to be able to handle many things on my own. I even focus all my skill building techniques around the accomplishments I made at time even up to now (comfort pocket backbone). However, it too many years to realize that I made a very big mistake. There's a saying out there that goes like this, "when a person are too proud of their accomplishments, they will begin to see downfall".
A common comfort pocket we all use is that life requires us to earn anything through hard and painful efforts. I agree with the hard part, but I almost never agree with the painful part. When we do something, we will absolutely not do it if there isn't even a shard of selfish interest (selfish motivation) at all. Even if it is simply a manifestation of a robot-like daily habit we follow (comfort pockets). In other words, no matter what we do, we tend to enjoy it to a certain degree. Have you ever done something painful with a smile of excitement on your face? Even if you only smiled to yourself when you recognized those moments, I'm pretty sure you can relate to what I mean. Those pains are almost always a dividing point in your life that can send you in two directions. As for which direction you take depends a little bit on fate, decisions, will power, selfish motivation, comfort pocket, momentum you have, or any other kinds of external influences. What are the two directions? You either get held back by the pain, or you overcome the pain.
Recognition of those painful moment is one thing, but over emphasizing them is simply concluding the fact that anything you go through, went through, or will go through is not worth the effort, because a definite form of loss is verified whatever that loss might be. In other words, recognizing pain is close to acknowledging to yourself that "giving up is better". This trend of thinking will steer the general population towards giving up and aiming for something easier (comfort pocket) or something much easier (comfort pocket again) to accomplish. Anybody that goes through this pattern a lot will eventually aim for ONE thing in life they can proudly accomplish and call it their climax. If they accomplished it, stayed alive, and got fired up over the victory, then usually what waits for them is the other direction they can take much earlier in their time line.
On the other hand, if you somehow surpass that pain acknowledgement and successfully accomplish what you desired, then you might end up with a different comfort pocket that is also very commonly abused. You will feel very proud, which is a very good feeling to have. It's also a great stimulator for power selfish motivations to be born. You will feel that you are one key that fits infinite key holes. You will definitely feel powerful. Belief is an element of comfort pocket, so once you've reached this state, your brain will no longer have any control over it. Pride is a type of emotion based on fear mixed with strong sense of security guarding against it. It's stubborn to be ridden of because it's one of the foundation tools we use to guard against our biggest fears, whatever they are. It's a feeling of certainty and absolute. You can say that it almost holds the position close to the heavens in our hearts. We tend to treat it like following:
- the peak
- the best
- the maximum
- the unbeatable
- all your solutions
- only reason
- reason to stay alive
- only thing in life to look forward to
- only reason to sacrifice your all for
- tangible reason to explain "that's why I am not...."
To conclude this piece of writing, being proud is simply a frozen state of your personality, and your emotional development. Its existence is not for naught, because it exists for the sake of your recognizing precious values inside yourself, or outside of yourself. Being over proud will paralyze you for too long, and your selfish motivations will be diminished. However, no matter how long you have been proud, it's never too late to start from scratch again. As long you don't give up, you can still continue to ride the dynamic around you as much as others do.
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