Here's some nonsense about my love life. I might not have as much emotions as normal people, but I still feel pain. There are many people worst off than me, whether they're diseased, in trauma, lost loved ones, etc, but at the precise moment it happened, my heart truly felt like it's the most painful thing in the world. If you have anything to say then please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.
I still go to school now for acupuncture. I hope this blog doesn't become some kind of obstacle against me in the future. If it does, then it's not really my fault, because it's the fault of people with evil intentions, and lawyers, hee hee hee. When you do a job, you have to learn to take responsibility for it. That's exactly what I did.
There's this girl in my class. I think she was an awfully sweet person. Everybody likes her even though there's a really big birth mark on her face. Nevertheless, she looks cute underneath that mark. For guys, we can be awfully shallow when it comes to finding a mate. There are others that are cute too, but I quickly forget about them when I move around, because I don't know them. Anyway, though I always thought she was a sweet person, and I mean outside and inside, I also considered her a friend even if there's no way we can be together. However, fate has to make me so disappointed.
I always wondered why she doesn't like to talk to me all that much. She's receptive to talking, but she would seem to avoid all chances of chatting altogether. I always thought she was a busy person, so I felt, "ah, what the heck, everybody needs to do their stuff". I was happy at school though, because I get to learn what I like to learn the most, acupuncture. More specifically, it's anything related to kundalini, and qi gong practicing. So when others look at me, they think I'm super hyper haha. Well I can't help it, because the courses are just too interesting to me. So it can give the wrong impression on people.
That girl I mentioned earlier. I asked her once before why she wears a ring on her hand. She told me it means she has a boyfriend. Just last night, I noticed her ring has changed to a ring with a jewel on top. This time, I asked her the same question, and she said, "yea, I'm married". I was shocked, well only a little. Like all guys, I thought I had a chance. It doesn't matter though. If it was me in the past, I would've stopped talking to a girl like that. Nowadays, I noticed that it doesn't make a difference. I want others to feel happy. It's even better if they can find happiness without me doing all the work hehe. However, she did something I would never have imagined her doing.
I went out to finish my dinner that night since I get a break during the class. As I came back to the classroom, I overheard that girl (I have very sensitive ears so even if you are two rooms away from me, I can still hear you) said, "that guy is just too childish". At that moment, I knew she was talking about me, from the way she's glancing at me. My heart was chilled. It felt like someone just froze it and smashed it into pieces. I figured I'll be embarrassed that night after asking a question like that. I was willing to take responsibility for that, but taking an insult that far is too much for even me to handle at that moment (added to the fact I didn't sleep well the night before). I was sad, and very disappointed. A sweet girl like her having those words coming out of her mouth. Maybe she wasn't as sweet as I thought. I asked her that question (about her ring), to see if I still have a chance, and if I didn't, I hopefully can boast her happiness a little by letting her realize that there are other guys that appreciates her. I couldn't believe my ears. I want to be angry at her, but I can't. My kundalini training has improved too much to fall behind like that again. I don't have an ability to be angry at a rejection again. However, I do have my best wishes for her.
I hope she lives happily. I know people change from time to time. I hope she isn't too hard on herself for acting like she did tonight. Same for everyone else in the world. Don't feel guilty for rejecting someone outright. It's better to handle things now then never. I write this blog because of my disappointed feelings and nothing else. Thanks for reading. Hee hee hee hee.
No comments:
Post a Comment