Here's some nonsense that I learned about myself. I hope that some day, when I look back at my past, I can learn a thing or two if I fall off the path of nonsense. If you have anything to say then please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.
When I spend my life doing things I do, I usually don't think about what I want to do. I think more about what I "don't" want to do most of the time. Before I know it, I have a life full of things I don't want to do, but I have no idea what I want to do. Sounds confusing right? Let's have an example.
I am different from most people. I have never worked before. If I was your family member, then you would consider me to be your baggage. That's my current comfort pocket quality. The current state of my life puts me under constant disadvantage. I still live with my parents and I feel like I am under their constant surveillance. I argue with them a lot, because I practically don't contribute anything to the family. However, I don't believe that getting any job at all will instantly increase the social position I hold in the family. All I ever hear from them are things that I'm doing wrong. If I was still the same me few years ago, I would shut out all the things they said. However, over the years, I analyzed and reanalyzed myself many times, and I finally separated my flaws and my parent's flaws.
My flaws comes from the fact that I take for granted that someone exist just to nag me. I eventually realized how empty my life would be if there was nobody at all. So instead of focusing on things I don't want, I started to focus on what I want in life if my family practically didn't exist, and I was an orphan of some kind. I eventually developed a new comfort pocket that holds the technique, "if you ever feel your concept of life is attacked, imagine a twist in history that made the attacker nonexistent, then think about whether the attacker's idea was right or wrong". I realized that many people have a comfort pocket for repelling things we "don't" want, but that rather overwhelms the main comfort pocket that pushes us to go for things we "do" want. Most often then not, the attacker, though might be saying abusive words "for your own good" (let's just imagine that they all do), then if you rebel against it, and you don't realize that you are just rebelling because your selfish motivation is to fight back the attacker, you would fail to realize if the attacker's words are valid or not. You will live with a comfort pocket that pushes you to rebel against the "attacker", "controller" or whatever you call him or her, but fail to realize that if you constantly do things opposite the attacker or controller, then you are still under their "absolute control".
True freedom exists when you have a solid understanding of your role and goal in life based on a high quality, high density comfort pocket with chains of selfish motivations attached to it. If you think about your life style carefully, let's say for example, the "attacker" wanted to control you in any fashion, but also realized at the same time you'll do opposite of what the attacker said, then the attacker can take an alternative approach by telling you to do "opposite" of what the attacker "intends" you to do, and your comfort pocket reacts the same exact way, (it always does because comfort pockets are not under our conscious control), which is to rebel against the order by doing the opposite, then you fell right into the "trap" of the attacker. You'll lose conscious freedom, because you'll never be completely sure what the attacker's "intentions" are to begin with.
The attackers in this discussion are usually people that care about you to some degree. It can be your wife, sons, daughters, husband, parents, friends, or whatever people you can think of. It's easy to fall into the mindset, that if you don't follow what other people tell you to do, then you have absolute control and freedom over your life. The truth is, as long other people's words, actions, or behaviors have "any" impact on your decisions, then you have lost your absolute freedom. Remember to rebuild your comfort pockets so that you have more options in your life that you want truthfully.
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