Here's more nonsense this time. However, I added a little dramatic experience from my life. Well, before you complain about how much more unfortunate other children in this world are, or however similar and common my experiences are, why don't you take a look at it in a different perspective? For example, "why is such an experience so "common" among all the people in the world?". If you can't answer that, then you're just going to inherit this stuff and pass it on to your children, just like our idiotic parents. Not like they are true idiots, but when it comes to parenting, they can't be that intelligent if we have something left to complain about :) Hee hee hee hee. If you have anything to say then please don't hesitate to leave a comment below.
Earlier I had an argument with an individual. She used to be an important part of my life. However, over these years, she's becoming more and more of a stranger that I know very well. Yea, technically that's how I feel or maybe how most of us feels. She's my relative. Sometimes I can even consider her a great inspiration (to decide to help the world) because of my hatred towards her. Sometimes she's a friend.... but most often, I've lost most of my emotional connections to her.
At least I used to think I hate her. However, I decided that to have revenge on someone, hating that individual is making that person too lucky to deserve a part of your memories (and it's true). I've decided to release her from hatred and forgive her. In the end, I learned that one positive and one negative does neutralize each other. In the end, I feel nothing for her except for one thing; responsibility. If you're wondering if she's my ex wife from Satan's realm, then you are wrong. She is my mother.
I learned hating people requires vast amounts of strength, and you will have to reinforce it everyday because it gets diluted by other parts of your life. However, if you become like me, stop hating someone, simultaneously will also lead you to stop loving that someone. Love and hate goes together as a balance which constantly reminds each other the force they are fighting against. Don't get me wrong. I do care for her, but only if she's about to be in imminent danger, in other words; just like every other stranger I can imagine.
You have heard about many terrible parents, and how gurus teach you never to hate your parents. Learn to love them and such. I agree. But for me, I love without any feelings. I just follow protocols to decide what is in her best interest without over dramatizing with common "super care". If you want an example, I can give you one. If your mom is sick, what would you do for her? Buy her a card? Talk to her a lot? Cheer her up by cleaning up for her? For me, the emotionless me, the best alternative for me is to force her to carry her own weight, judge her own situations, and solve her own problems. The only time I'll lend a hand is if I noticed that she's tried her best, and it'll be nonsense not to stretch out your hand and give her a boost; like if she can't even breath correctly or move her limbs and such.
Terrible parents can be alcohol addicts, drug addicts, sex addicts, or whatever you can think of. For me, my parents are nothing like that at all, but I won't and can't judge others for what they do, because everybody follows their aims based on their strongest selfish motivation. However, if you stated that a "non addict" can be a great parent, then reply would be "half-half". The child will have to be lucky. Parents are usually not ready to have children. Nobody ever trained, or prepared for every little situation that will inevitably occur, but rather couples decided to follow their feelings and just go with the flow. In other words, people take a new life too naively. It's more than just stuffing food into a toddler and forcing its flesh to grow. It's more than just pushing them into danger in order to let them realize survival techniques. It's more than just taking money from the government and giving a small share to them. If you ever watch movies where children are trained to be assassins, you would've realized one thing that most parents don't realize; even though children growing up to be assassins (or soldiers, etc. ) are pitiful, but normal children can also be just as pitiful or even more. For those children in training, plans have been carefully decided long ahead of time to protect them from real dangers, whether that is physical or emotional danger. Most parents focus on physical dangers, but definitely almost all parents completely neglect emotional dangers.
Developing an emotionally healthy child is more than just patience and iron fist force. It's not all about delivering pain to them then counseling them afterwards, or forcing them to see a psychiatrist if once they have emotional issues. Why not solve the problem now and on your own? This pattern of negativity occurs because parents usually have been emotionally abused themselves, which became a permanent comfort pocket gives the same negative protocols that deals with the next generation the same way they were taught unconsciously. It's all about balance. Balance is important, but most people don't realize how important it is because we all have a false sense of stability. Time runs, gravity pulls, volcano explodes, no part of our world is stable in nature. This holds even more true, or should I say more obvious in a living being's emotions. Its changes are obvious though it's not dramatic and big as mother earth. However, we have a natural tendency to ignore anything irrational beyond the level of our intelligence. Fortunately, we all get old. Eventually old people realize their mistakes and ignorance, but all is already too late, because they have already stained the next generation with their negativity, which will further spread like an epidemic for generations on. Even though emotional civil war within the family could've been prevented, and was definitely unnecessary, but this spiral of nonsense simply continues nowadays.
Balancing someone's feelings for you and your feelings towards them is the best way to show care. It's not always about speaking loving, and encouraging words, or delivering hateful and aggressive abuses. Sometimes, you have to encourage, but other times you have to be tough, but other times, you just have to learn to take the blow from the target you are aiming to help, by intelligently sorting out the facts. To help someone learn and grow, the helper has to learn to grow as well. It's a reinforcing cycle that both have to maintain in a dynamically violent, even gentle, sad, yet exciting relationship that constantly has opposite, and neutral emotions causing friction with each other. Sometimes, it also means to show strength, but weakness as well.
To conclude all of this. I wrote this article to release my stressed out feelings. Take it as you want it, it's not meant to be your advice or rulebook, it's meant to be your inspiration. I'm being serious too. Just read it like a story book, and realize that you are not alone in this world. I'm not your friend, but I'm definitely not a stranger.
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